It’s been weeks now without my hair. And I am doing FINE.....
The worrying about it was worse… than the actual living it…. at least for me !
When out in public, I find most people are so wrapped up in their own world that they do not look around and see much.
The few others that do notice, take a second look. Some of them with a sympathetic look as to say” I am a survivor too, or my mother or my sister is a survivor …. I understand your turban or scarf wrapped in a special way”.
If someone snickers or stares – it is usually a group of young girls. Who have no idea what LIFE is really about (yet). They snicker and stare and make fun of everything different than their reality – usually to boost their fragile teenage egos.
And the kicker of the whole thing…you find in the end … YOU don’t care.
I do not mean to say that in a bad way.
Just that the effects of someone staring – has no bearing on my attitude or self esteem like I thought it would.
The power I was giving it – is not there!
I am just happy to be ALIVE – to be out and about – and to be beating this cancer.
My vanity has taken a vacation and I am really good with that.
As long as I am comfortable and happy – I am good!!
To hell with what others think.
There are so many lessons to be learned during this journey.
I am changing......for the better.....I am humbled and grateful.
Isn't it a shame that it sometimes takes a tragedy for us to learn some of life's lessons.
ReplyDeleteAlthough my problem is not visiable like yours, I have still gone through much of the same thought processes as you have. After a year of living in a zombie state of mind due to the meds I decided that I was going to take my life back and I have. I decided that I was not going to exist with it but it was going to exist with me on my terms. And that is exactly what I see you doing. Your attitude is as important a part of your treatment and how you heal as the meds you have to take.
Keep those positive thoughts as much as possible. And if sometimes you find yourself on the pity pot....that is ok to. Sometimes we need to be there to reflect on where we have been and how far we have come. Thus we are then able to move to the next level.
Love you lots Kelly!!!
Debbi
Thank you Debbi. I appreciate you encouraging words. And I am glad you were able to get off all those meds and take your life back.
ReplyDeleteLove you. K
Hi Sis, yeah like I said you have a warrior spirit, I knew the loss of your hair wouldn't hold you back. You know the the ones that do snicker or stare I can actually feel sorry for them now, because when its their turn to face this down they won't be able to. Be proud of your strength, like I told you earlier you will grow stronger with each passing week. As you grow stronger you will find yourself more aware of this new level of humbleness and gratitude. It's all there to help you through this, by appreciating the little Victories more and being grateful for what you really have makes missing the things you can't do right now or the hair that you had easier to bear. This time will fly by for you too. I am post treatment for 60 days now and my strength and energy is back, my taste buds are 70% I still have a few radiation problems that I'm dealing with but they get easier every day that goes by. Luv u Sis and stay strong you can do this and you will make it look easy to others to see.
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