It is GROWING....my hair that is.....not my nose.

It is GROWING….

my hair that is…..not my nose. 

My hair is super super short, white and a cottony fluff !!! 
It really does not resemble hair at this point.

I look like a guy who just had a buzz cut 3 weeks ago, 
only fuzzier. 

  At first it was all white, not silver or gray, I mean WHITE. 
   Thought maybe i would wear it short like PINK...
Not sure I could have pulled it off, 
but I was thinking about it. 
 Now it is around 1/ 2 long in some places and some darker color is coming in.
And that kind of looks black? So now I am NOT so thrilled. Not crazy about the FrOSTED look.
From everything I have read – it will be a surprise!  
Not many people 
ever have the same hair -  they had before chemo.
It could be curly or straight, frizzy or not, gray, white or your normal color??? 
Hey maybe it will be purple....purple is in.

I will say – I have enjoyed NO HAIR - NO drying, NO curling and NO styling, etc. 
I just may keep it super short no matter what color? 
I am all about easy ….these days.

I am not worried....
I will take what I get, 
do what I can with what I have 
and be grateful for it. 
I am confident God will help me through that part too.
If I have a sad moment …. 
and miss my old hair, I will just remind myself I am alive, 
I kicked cancers butt, I have my wonderful husband, son, family and friends…… The rest does not matter.

I am living each day, 
One day at a time and enjoying the hell out of it!! 

3 weeks after reconstruction surgery....OUCH that hurts.

Three weeks after reconstruction surgery
Ouch that hurts! 

Well my surgery went well for surgeries, I was supposed to be released same day.
 However I had a reaction to the anesthesia and had to stay overnight. Very, very sick to my stomach.
At home the next day, I had my dear friend Lynette, 
to take care of me while my husband and son were at work. 
It was a rough couple days, then it started getting better. 
And then….. it started going wrong. 
I have been battling an infection or something that has caused a lot of swelling on my reconstruction side. 
I have been on two rounds of antibiotics , the redness and my fever are gone but the swelling remains.
It has been very restrictive and depressing. 

My mind says I should be past this and moving on to a quicker healing, 
already exercising, getting stronger. 
However, my body is betraying me and doing otherwise.
 I feel frustrated and defeated today. 
Depressed with all the little issues that are keeping me 
from healing and keeping me from the exercise I so…. want to do. 
I cannot lift things, cannot do repetitive things with either arm, pretty much rules out housework. My house is a mess and I feel like my hands are tied behind my back……………damn I am so ready to be past this. 

  I know - I know 
everyone keeps telling me to be patient – reminding me 
“I just had surgery 4 weeks ago and just finished 4 months of chemo”.

 I guess my mind remembers how quickly I would bounce back prior to all this. I am expecting the kind of recovery I would have had before CHEMO. 
 

 4 weeks after surgery and I still have swelling. 
At first it was swelling, redness, fever and achiness. 
After my round of Cipro antibiotic, it started to get better. 
However shortly it started swelling again, so I went on a second round of antibiotic. 
No fever, or redness this time just the swelling. 
Went in today for a checkup. Basically I am told it is edema fluid and by body will eventually absorb it. However, if it does not - we have to watch for a couple issues
 ( which I will not get into, just sayin they are not good, like more surgery for one).
I asked what I could do or what do I need to change to help the swelling? 
And was told not much I can do???

However, I left the Dr office thinking there has to be something I can do? 
And I plan to do everything I can within my power - to help my body. 
So I came home and read and read some more. 
Actually I found I already know about and do some of these things. I need to help my body work at it’s optimum performance 
( whatever that may be after 4 months of chemo) 

So I am dry brushing. I am starting light yoga, I am meditating nightly, all with a purpose in mind. To get rid of these extra fluid.  I have to – I don’t want more surgery. I don’t want this to affect my reconstruction.

  Part of that will be ....I have to stop eating sugar and refined carbs ( which turn into sugar ).  
 They cause inflammation inside our bodies, 
which cause all kinds of problems and diseases. 
Including edema, cancer, diabetes, stroke and so much more.
And I like so many of us……I am addicted to sugar like a smoker is to cigarettes. 
I have not had the willpower I NEED to have,
 to completely stop the sugar. 
Night time is my worst time, I am a stress eater. 
I crave sugar and salt all evening and all night long until I fall asleep. I can absolutely breeze through the day with no problem, eat all the right things. 
Cook a healthy dinner and THEN BOOM like clockwork the cravings start. 
I guess if I would go to sleep right after I eat at 7pm, I could stop the unhealthy snacking….lol. So this will continue to be my personal struggle. I am praying the yoga, meditation, and my continued tenacity will eventually win.

 Most days I feel good. I still have quite a bit of pain in both breasts. 
And I am still restricted from lifting and weight bearing exercise and restricted from repetitive arm use. 
I have to remind myself 
this is just temporary – and to be grateful it is not permanent. 

I could be much worse off, I see so many who are 
( every 3 weeks when I go for treatment).
 It would break your heart if you went with me.

There ARE SO MANY of us with Cancer. Children, teenagers, 20, 30, 50, 80 year olds. I have to wait for a open chair, the chemo rooms are FULL. 
And Tulsa alone has at least 5 Chemo centers. The one I go to says they see as many as 100 patients a day. This is 1 place. Can you do the math? This is enormous – something we are doing is giving a HUGE amount of us all kinds of cancers. Wake –up!

Friends and Family – wake up – if you haven’t already!
We have to eat right and exercise – cut out the white sugar, white flour, dyes, pre-packaged foods, refined sugars and sugars. Otherwise as you age – it will catch up with you. Diabetes, stroke, ulcers, pancreatic cancer , breast and ovarian cancer, lung cancer, heart attacks, Alzheimer’s, fibromyalgia, and so much more. 

Cancer is in all of us, so you cannot stop from having it. 
The only way to keep it at bay and inactive is to HAVE A STRONG IMMUNE SYSTEM that can battle all the crap we put in our bodies, STRONG ... to fight the toxins, the pesticides, the colors & dyes, preservatives, hormones, antibiotics and pollution that is in our food. 

Below are a couple links to Doctor OZ’s videos about Pancreatic cancer and Ovarian cancer. I plead with you to take 15 minutes and watch them. 
They may save your life... or someone you know.

http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/your-biggest-cancer-risks-dr-ozs-biggest-solutions?video=15533   Ovarian

http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/your-biggest-cancer-risks-dr-ozs-biggest-solutions?video=15537    Pancreatic