Pray for my Heart and my Feet…

Treatment number 4!
Has NOT been so nice…I am experiencing a few new symptoms this time - that are a little more than scary. 
I experienced the usual nausea after treatment #4. However about 4-5 days after the treatment, I starting experiencing heart palpitations. One long episode and 6-8 shorter episodes over 2 days.
Also a real shortness of breath.

Since I knew 1 of the chemo drugs I am taking can effect the heart and because it felt like my heart was doing jumping jacks and summersaults I decided I better call my ONC doctor. And of course she wanted me to go get checked out, because it has happened so many times and it is my heart. 

So I go to the emergency room and sit and wait for 6 hours while they run tests. And of course my symptoms ( the palpitations ) don’t show up at all during that time. My EKG was fine. The emergency room Dr and my ONC Dr confer and decide I need to wear a heart monitor for 48 hours, to see what is possibly going on.  However, they are all out at the hospital. So I am told to make an appointment in the morning with the heart specialist they are referring me to, to get fitted with one the next day. 
Both Dr's and I feel like it is related to my chemo drugs. 

So in their "all fired up wisdom" about how I needed to get checked out and how important
my heart is, I cannot get in to the heart specialist to get the monitor fitted until April 8^th. 
I am sure glad I am not an emergency??? 
And that will be after my 5^th chemo treatment. I was going to blow the monitor off, until I realized I am more winded when I exert myself and I am hearing my heartbeat in my ears and little flutters of the heart still happen ( not actual palpitations) . 
I have decided I better not take any chances and I will keep my appointment.

And now 10 days after my treatment, I am experiencing neuropathy in my hands and feet. I have heard of it, because my mother had it. But I did not know much about it.   
                                  Oh my, how PAINFUL it is!! 

My fingertips and toes feel bruised and on fire. They hurt all the time. Saturday they started tingling like hundreds of hot needles are being applied to my feet and hands. They are red, feel like they are on fire and swollen. It hurts to walk barefoot, it hurts to put on socks or shoes. SHIT…this is not fun. 
Everything I touch hurts my fingers. My feet feel like they were forced to wear really coarse sandpaper as socks, while walking for 3 miles. Even between my toes. 
I hope I am at the peak of the pain and that it is clearing up a little before my next treatment.

So I  get on the computer and read many articles, where sometimes chemo induced neuropathy goes away and sometimes it does not. 
***   Below is a little blurb I copied from 1 of the websites. 
I have talked with other survivors and they pretty much say the same. Some have it for life, some improve with time. I will take the latter ….please!! 


 *** Can neuropathy be cured?
The peripheral nerves have a great ability to heal. Even though it may take months, recovery can occur. However, in some situations, symptoms of neuropathy may lessen but not completely go away. For example, nerve injury caused by radiation often does not recover well. Neuropathy caused by chemotherapy is also difficult to cure, and recovery may take 18 months to five years or longer. During recovery of platinum-induced neuropathy, patients may suffer increased symptoms. Unfortunately, some patients with neuropathy from chemotherapy never recover.


Before each chemo treatment – I get blood drawn and then see the Dr before I start my chemo for the day. 
We will be having a conversation about my heart and my feet and whether I need to adjust my chemo meds. I don’t know what else they do – other than stop the drug they think is the problem. But then what – is my chemo cocktail of 3 drugs still as viable without 1 of them? Do you start something else in its place? Or do we lower the dosage? Maybe it is the same drug causing both of these new side effects? I will keep you posted.

I am still doing okay. Every day is a new day as far as the way I feel. I struggle through the bad days the best I can. I am learning to meditate. I do my yoga breathing and light exercise. On my good days – I rejoice and appreciate, that it is a good day. And Tom and Jace rejoice with me. I know they are grateful for my good days to. 

I honestly I have more good days than bad. 
Because, that is what I try to focus on.
I do believe the energy I put out whether it be NEGATIVE or POSITIVE comes back to me full fold. 
I am currently doing a computer webinar - 21 mediation with Deepak Chopra and Oprah. Lynette my girlfriend is doing it also. We have enjoyed our first 5 days so much. 
It’s not to late to sign up on Oprahs website if you are interested. 

 Meditation – what a wonderful stress reliever and healer. 
We should be teaching this in our schools as a coping mechanism for adulthood. 
There would be so much less violence, depression and illness if we had learned this in our youth and expanded our knowledge of this wonderful mental place to rest and heal  your mind and body. I love it.!!

And again I can't thank you enough for your cards, emails, texts and calls. Some if you keep in constant touch. I don't get a chance to thank you for each gesture, But I want you to know Tom and I appreciate them all.
 We appreciate your thoughtfullness, your caring and prayers.  
We have great family & friends.