More decisions to be made...CRAP !

Treatment #4 has not been the easiest !

I have had more uncomfortable and painful symptoms this time. 

As I said on my previous post, the neuropathy and heart palpitations were new symptoms and both are scary. The neuropathy pain can be so painful it is life altering. But I have also been more tired this time. I usually have a low period in which I am very, very tired – but then recover somewhat before next treatment. This time I have felt tired the entire 3 week period and its only 3 days until my next treatment….if I decide to have it. 

I still have not made up my mind what to do. I have done a lot of reading and have a lot of questions for my Dr. before I decide. 

 When I made the decision to fight this cancer with everything we could – it was because I did not want a repeat cancer. They say the second time around is much harder to fight and to win.

However – with these new side effects I have to consider the quality of my life also. And this is where it becomes each person’s very difficult decision.I truly want to beat this cancer, but I want to live a full life too.

I still have so much I want to do with Tom and my family and friends. Things to see and do, places to visit. And I do not want to do them in a wheel chair. Tom and I are at the age where we can spend more time having fun. Enjoying life and reaping the benefits for working so hard all our lives.

  So in my mind it boils down to this....
I can finish my chemo and possibly be wheelchair bound from the heart damage and or be in a medicated stupor and crippled from the pain of neuropathy. OR stop the treatments, maybe risk a shorter life, but be able to function, walk and do things before I die. 
I am not sure if decreasing my dosage is an option or if it would even matter in reducing the newer symptoms. 

Even though I am an Optimist, I still realize because of the cancer (and possibilities of recurrence) and because of damage to my body from the chemo, I may have a much shorter life than I expected. 

                That realization is humbling and sad, yet motivating. 

Of course there are no guarantees….anyway. 

I might get hit by a plane crashing from the sky or a driving/texting teenager tomorrow.  

I hope I beat the odds. I plan to try with all my being. 

I will know I have been true to myself and no regrets. 

         I have a picture with a saying that hangs on my wall, that I absolutely love.

“ Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body; but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming…. “ Damn what a ride”.

      Of course now it has new meaning to me… as I have to have small bits of chocolate and wine. Not gobs and gobs……dammit.

I need to stay healthy enough to still walk and run 
and 
make my journey a long one.

Pray for my Heart and my Feet…

Treatment number 4!
Has NOT been so nice…I am experiencing a few new symptoms this time - that are a little more than scary. 
I experienced the usual nausea after treatment #4. However about 4-5 days after the treatment, I starting experiencing heart palpitations. One long episode and 6-8 shorter episodes over 2 days.
Also a real shortness of breath.

Since I knew 1 of the chemo drugs I am taking can effect the heart and because it felt like my heart was doing jumping jacks and summersaults I decided I better call my ONC doctor. And of course she wanted me to go get checked out, because it has happened so many times and it is my heart. 

So I go to the emergency room and sit and wait for 6 hours while they run tests. And of course my symptoms ( the palpitations ) don’t show up at all during that time. My EKG was fine. The emergency room Dr and my ONC Dr confer and decide I need to wear a heart monitor for 48 hours, to see what is possibly going on.  However, they are all out at the hospital. So I am told to make an appointment in the morning with the heart specialist they are referring me to, to get fitted with one the next day. 
Both Dr's and I feel like it is related to my chemo drugs. 

So in their "all fired up wisdom" about how I needed to get checked out and how important
my heart is, I cannot get in to the heart specialist to get the monitor fitted until April 8^th. 
I am sure glad I am not an emergency??? 
And that will be after my 5^th chemo treatment. I was going to blow the monitor off, until I realized I am more winded when I exert myself and I am hearing my heartbeat in my ears and little flutters of the heart still happen ( not actual palpitations) . 
I have decided I better not take any chances and I will keep my appointment.

And now 10 days after my treatment, I am experiencing neuropathy in my hands and feet. I have heard of it, because my mother had it. But I did not know much about it.   
                                  Oh my, how PAINFUL it is!! 

My fingertips and toes feel bruised and on fire. They hurt all the time. Saturday they started tingling like hundreds of hot needles are being applied to my feet and hands. They are red, feel like they are on fire and swollen. It hurts to walk barefoot, it hurts to put on socks or shoes. SHIT…this is not fun. 
Everything I touch hurts my fingers. My feet feel like they were forced to wear really coarse sandpaper as socks, while walking for 3 miles. Even between my toes. 
I hope I am at the peak of the pain and that it is clearing up a little before my next treatment.

So I  get on the computer and read many articles, where sometimes chemo induced neuropathy goes away and sometimes it does not. 
***   Below is a little blurb I copied from 1 of the websites. 
I have talked with other survivors and they pretty much say the same. Some have it for life, some improve with time. I will take the latter ….please!! 


 *** Can neuropathy be cured?
The peripheral nerves have a great ability to heal. Even though it may take months, recovery can occur. However, in some situations, symptoms of neuropathy may lessen but not completely go away. For example, nerve injury caused by radiation often does not recover well. Neuropathy caused by chemotherapy is also difficult to cure, and recovery may take 18 months to five years or longer. During recovery of platinum-induced neuropathy, patients may suffer increased symptoms. Unfortunately, some patients with neuropathy from chemotherapy never recover.


Before each chemo treatment – I get blood drawn and then see the Dr before I start my chemo for the day. 
We will be having a conversation about my heart and my feet and whether I need to adjust my chemo meds. I don’t know what else they do – other than stop the drug they think is the problem. But then what – is my chemo cocktail of 3 drugs still as viable without 1 of them? Do you start something else in its place? Or do we lower the dosage? Maybe it is the same drug causing both of these new side effects? I will keep you posted.

I am still doing okay. Every day is a new day as far as the way I feel. I struggle through the bad days the best I can. I am learning to meditate. I do my yoga breathing and light exercise. On my good days – I rejoice and appreciate, that it is a good day. And Tom and Jace rejoice with me. I know they are grateful for my good days to. 

I honestly I have more good days than bad. 
Because, that is what I try to focus on.
I do believe the energy I put out whether it be NEGATIVE or POSITIVE comes back to me full fold. 
I am currently doing a computer webinar - 21 mediation with Deepak Chopra and Oprah. Lynette my girlfriend is doing it also. We have enjoyed our first 5 days so much. 
It’s not to late to sign up on Oprahs website if you are interested. 

 Meditation – what a wonderful stress reliever and healer. 
We should be teaching this in our schools as a coping mechanism for adulthood. 
There would be so much less violence, depression and illness if we had learned this in our youth and expanded our knowledge of this wonderful mental place to rest and heal  your mind and body. I love it.!!

And again I can't thank you enough for your cards, emails, texts and calls. Some if you keep in constant touch. I don't get a chance to thank you for each gesture, But I want you to know Tom and I appreciate them all.
 We appreciate your thoughtfullness, your caring and prayers.  
We have great family & friends.

CANCER...why is there so much of it?

So we live each day trusting that the products we eat, put on our bodies, wash our clothes and dishes with, clean our house with…. are safe!! 

 

The FDA takes care of all that safety crap…that is why it’s there right? 

WRONG…….there are so many QUESTIONABLE chemicals, dyes, additives and preservatives in our products – it is scary.  I had no reason to doubt our FDA and assumed if they are sold here in the US they are safe. After all the publicity about the failures of the FDA and now that I am reading and trying to find out why, myself and so many other women are getting breast cancer more than ever…..I am finding out the UGLY truth. We have many additives, chemicals, preservatives, artificial colors, etc. that are allowed in our products.... but have been Banned in other countries for years. Why is that? Surely its not $$ motivated.

 

Parabens, Phthalates, BPA, …….are a few– but there are more. 

 Just to mention a few more…..Phthalates, sodium lauryl/laureth sulfates, PVC, Parabens, Benzene, Chlorine, synthetic fragrances, Triclosan, formaldehyde-based preserving agents, Nanoparticles, TEA, MEA, phosphates, polyethylene glycol (PEG), quaternium 15, DMDM hydantoin, 1-4 dioxane, bisphenol-A (BPA), alkylphenol ethoxylates (APEs)/nonylphenol, BHA, Benzalkonium chloride. 
This is a small list of CRAP that should not be in or on our bodies. 

BPA and Paraben are both known to mimic estrogen in the body, one of the leading breast cancers in women is Estrogen Positive cancer. Estrogen also fuels Prostrate cancer the # 1 cancer in men. We are putting things in our bodies that are morphing, chemically changing, cell destroying, molecular changing and more.

Here are a few examples of concern:
The danger: In a 2012 study published in The Journal of the Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology, scientists discovered that phthalates, a class of plasticizing chemicals often used in synthetically fragranced products, help fuel cancer growth in some of the most hard-to-treat types of breast cancer. Long known to act as hormone disruptors and implicated in hormone-sensitive breast cancers, the latest research shows that phthalates also accelerate cancer growth in estrogen receptor-negative breast cancer cells, meaning the plastic chemicals are negatively impacting our bodies in previously unknown ways. In this study, phthalates fueled cancer cells to multiply 3.0 times faster and spread about 2.5 times faster, compared to cells not exposed to phthalates.

The danger: Bisphenol A, or BPA, is used in the can liner of most canned drinks and foods in the United States. A known hormone disruptor, BPA is linked to a higher risk of breast cancer. A 2012 study found monkeys exposed to BPA while pregnant were most likely to give birth to little girls with dense breasts, a known risk factor for breast cancer later in life. 



The danger: Some experts have concerns that large amounts of soy isoflavones may increase the risk of breast cancers. The general medical consensus is that more research is needed to determine whether this is true. A 3.5-ounce (100-milligram) serving of edamame has about 14 milligrams of isoflavones [source: USDA]. For comparison, the FDA has approved nutrition statements on food labels that suggest 25 grams of soy protein daily, which provides between 60-75 milligrams of isoflavones [source: Raneri].

The danger: EWG's Skin Deep database, which compares cosmetic ingredients to over 50 international toxicity databases, indicates that parabens are linked to cancer, endocrine disruption, reproductive toxicity, immunotoxicity, neurotoxicity and skin irritation (v). Since parabens are used to kill bacteria in water-based solutions, they inherently have some toxicity to cells (vi).
The danger: A 2004 UK study detected traces of five parabens in the breast cancer tumors. Of greatest concern is that parabens are known to disrupt hormone function, an effect that is linked to increased risk of breast cancer and reproductive toxicity. Parabens mimic estrogen by binding to estrogen receptors on cells. They also increase the expression of genes usually regulated by estradiol (a form of estrogen); these genes cause human breast tumor cells to grow and multiply in cellular studies.

If you would go with me 
and see how full these CANCER treatment centers are it would make you think twice. 

There are way too many people with cancer. 4 and 6 year old children, 20 year old men and women, many others in their 50's, 60's,70's every age.... 
sitting in their chemo chairs.  
And how many chemo centers do you have in your city? Tulsa has at least 13 !! AND the two I am going to are full!!!!

We have to wake up and realize that something we are doing to our atmosphere, our food, our bodies is making us sick. I urge you to take the time to do some reading. And yes you will read some conflicting things – but consider the source. Sometimes these huge Cancer sites are in the business of making money from cancer. So where there is lots of smoke there must be fire. There are too many good sources saying we need to pay attention to these.

Here are some easy changes you can start with.

• Don’t heat plastic of any kind in the microwave. it changes and bad things leach into your food.
• Use glass containers and jars, not white plastic foam or plastic. Find BPA free plastic if you have to use plastic. 
• Don’t use or limit canned goods. Cans have BPA in the liner inside the can. 
• Get PARABENS out of your makeup, lotions, shampoos and soaps. They make paraben free stuff. But you have to look.
• Use white products rather than color products. Dyes are not good in anything. 
• Processed food ……get it out if your house. Eat food that is the most natural to its original fresh state. Not altered with creams, dyes, artificial flavors and preservatives. 
• Get sugar out of your food. Read your labels. Carbs turn into sugar so watch your carbs too. 
• Do your own research. Take each one of the items listed above in the red paragraph and google them READ what they are possibly doing to you. 
• DO YOU REALLY want to put them in and on your body? 

The thing is …. not everyone will get cancer from some or any of these things. But some of you will! A perfectly healthy person can get cancer. Cancer is caused by alterations in your cellular system created by weakness, illness and bad things we are eating in our food, putting on our bodies and breathing. It’s time for more awareness and change. 
I know my house is going BPA free, phthalates free and paraben free. And I cannot afford to do it all at once – but within 1 year, my goal is too have made major changes in what we have in our house.

The links listed below are just a few sources for information. EWG.org/skindeep is a website that you can put in the products you are using and see how safe they are? As I said take the time to do your own research and informed decisions. Staying ignorant to the fact because that’s what the BIG corporations, drug companies, lawyers, doctors want, so they can continue status quo – making their millions on our sicknesses.
It is time to do your own research and trust in your internal instincts about who is telling the truth and whether to make some changes.
And if you want any more information or links email me. I will glad to share and or all my collected info.

http://safecosmetics.org
http://www.ewg.org/skindeep
  https://www.honest.com/shop
http://thegoodhuman.com
http://www.besthealthmag.ca
http://www.bibra-information.co.uk/

I am not trying to make any claims in my blog – only stating my opinion. And I am sharing what I learned because I believe it is so important. I love my friends and family and want to help everyone I can …….make more informed decisions. 
Because I believe most of have trusted too much out of ignorance and or apathy.
I care about all of you, please take time to take a look for yourself at some of the concerns I have listed. 

I myself am working towards a greener life, including what surrounds me, what I put in and on my body and what I eat. 

Hugs to everyone!