Thank you Jace!

                                                              Our Son Jace

I want to say a special thank you to him. He had graduated college and went to the east coast for a well deserved break/vacation. To visit with some friends, see some sights. 

And when I got the diagnosis, he came home right away. 

He put his plans and life on hold, to help us through this. 

We didn’t ask, he just did it. 

I am sure if you said anything to him – he would say it’s nothing. But he has been a blessing to me. He took me back and forth to Doctor appointments in Tulsa, when I could not drive after surgery. He went with me, to my Chemo Doctor, so he could record it for me. I knew there would be lots of information to remember. He has filled in at work for me, run errands, cleans my kitchen, vacuums and much more. 

He also does research and is one of my biggest cheerleaders!!

   

I am sure he is bored to death, back here in the little town – so few choices for entertainment and fun for someone who is 25, compared to OKC, or Boston.  But he has given of himself – selflessly. 

I am very grateful and I am so proud of the man he has become. 

I love you son!

My vanity - Out the WINDOW !!

Well if you think going bald ....

would knock your vanity right 
out the window, 
Wait until you have NO eyelashes and your eyes water all day long.....so you cannot wear any makeup, because it is wiped off within an hour. 
I have to continually dab the water from my eyes, so they stay swollen and red. 
They tear so bad I cannot read or write, until I wipe the eyes again. 
My tear ducts are over-tearing ( a side effect). It looks like I am constantly crying.

It is embarrassing when helping a customer and I have to hand them the service order, 
cuz ......I cannot see through my watery eyes to write. Uggggggggggggg !

  So now I am a pasty white,
bald, teary faced, 
no makeup, 
puffy red eyed lady!
 I DO NOT 
recognize this woman in the mirror.  
 I am sure my husband doesn’t !!

I cannot do anything about it. I can’t stop the watery eyes or the bald thing, 
So suck it up Kelly. 
You know “ Pull up your BIG girl panties and deal with it!!" 


I know one day I will look in the mirror and a new divinely evolved ME will be looking back at me. I am anxious to meet her. 

Can it please be tomorrow ??

The ICE worked !! Let other cancer survivors know !

The ICE worked for me. In preventing neuropathy pain !!

FYI I did decide to go ahead with my fifth and sixth chemo treatments. 
I talked with my Doctor and we decided I had a few options if the neuropathy gets bad 
again after the 5^th treatment. 
 I also asked her about, using ice on my fingers and toes while I am getting the 
chemo drug taxotere (One of the chemo drugs known to cause neuropathy). 
She said that it was okay to do, but had not heard of anyone having success with it? 
I also asked a couple nurses, one rolled her eyes as if to say “ don’t bother”. The other nurse said “ I would try anything. As long as Dr said it is okay. "Go for it” What can it hurt?


WELL…………..The ICE worked !   At least so far!
  
It was not fun holding ice on my fingers and toes for an hour, but so worth it!!
 

 I am 13 days out from #5 treatment. I do have a little pain in my fingers and toes. 
But NOTHING like the Fire filled PINS & NEEDLES and BRUISING pain I felt 
after treatment #4.  I am grateful.
I don't know if it will work for everyone, but certainly worth a try in my mind.
I have also been taking Alpha Lipoic acid, mentioned to help - 
on several websites and forums I found.

Thank you Lord for this easy prevention and small miracle ! 

Thank you to all our friends and family for holding our hands through this and for your continued support. 
The cards, emails, texts and visits are appreciated.

Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.!!

exhaustionfatiguedropdeadtiredcripplingbonewearydibilitatingbeyondbelief

Can you read my frustration ??

Exhaustion and muscle fatigue beyond anything I ever imagined. 

 I thought through my first 4 chemo treatments that I knew what exhausted was like. 

I went through the very tired days.  I experienced the exhaustion or so I THOUGHT !!

Now after my 5th treatment.... 

 I cannot walk up and down the stairs at work, without being winded. 

I try to take one more trip up & down, 

just for the exercise of it, and have to stop half way – completely worn out and winded beyond belief. 

My heart pounding out of my chest. 

My muscles get so fatigued I feel like my legs are going to give out from under me. 

REALLY give out !! 

No one realizes how many times during the day – I have to stop and rest.

Not even Tom. He is not with me every moment when I walk through the house. 

Or when I am at work and have to sit before I fall, because I have pushed myself too far.

I try to exercise, but even 10 reps of anything, does me in. 

             I tried to sweep my small front porch and clean it up a little this morning. I had to sit down and rest 4 times before I could finish even that. 

I want to plant some more onions and potatoes and can’t even bring myself to do that. Something I love. 

 My heart and mind cry every time I have to stop even the simplest chore. 

 I feel so useless. 

I feel like such an added burden to Tom, asking him to do the simplest things I used to be able to do. He does so much already. 

 I am very frustrated today. I soooo want ……my health back. 

I am going crazy not being able to do things.